At the risk of starting a fire all over again, I just had to follow up on the previously deleted post. I was rushing home from work in the middle of the day because my kids called me telling me that my oldest son had cut his finger and it was 'gushing blood all over the place'. After establishing that it wasn't spurting, I instructed them in some basic first aid and was on my way home. On the freeway I ran into the familiar issue with people in the fast or passing lane, who refused to go over 65mph. I will admit, I was speeding at about 80mph, not my regular behavior, but I was trying to get home to see exactly how many stitches my son needed, I consider that emergency enough to warrant the speed I was trying to travel. Well unfortunately these self appointed patrol men had the freeway bogged down as if it were rush hour. I finally was able to weave my way to the source and tried to politely signal my request, by flashing my brites, not by tailgating, and was totally ignored.
My son ended up fine, the cut was not very bad, it just bled a lot, but to make what I think is a very good point, you never know why the person trying to get past you is so determined.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Even Steven?
Just in case you guys out there thought that last one was about more than my worthless cat, here's another...
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
The Rules - According to Guys
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Advice for the Ladies
If you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearing it apart to remove the sports section Buy a dog.
If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of seeing you Buy a dog.
If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it Buy a dog
If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want Buy a dog.
If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies Buy a dog.
If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores Buy a dog.
If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin , young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually Buy a dog.
But, on the other hand, If you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness...
Then.................
Buy a cat...
If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of seeing you Buy a dog.
If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it Buy a dog
If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want Buy a dog.
If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies Buy a dog.
If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores Buy a dog.
If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin , young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually Buy a dog.
But, on the other hand, If you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness...
Then.................
Buy a cat...
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
I am truly sorry
John & Patsy Ramsey are innocent. Patsy died in 2006 still professing her innocence while the public in general, myself included, believed either she had finally gotten what she deserved or that she had escaped final justice.
I believed that JonBenet's death was accidental, but that her parents rushed to cover it up, what with all the lawyers and such. Today DNA has proved me, and many others wrong on all counts. And again, today, I am a giant ass.
Let me just say for the record that I am ashamed of the things I said about them when I believed them guilty, and that I have learned from this that I shouldn't be so quick to judge, and that things are not always what they appear to be.
I believed that JonBenet's death was accidental, but that her parents rushed to cover it up, what with all the lawyers and such. Today DNA has proved me, and many others wrong on all counts. And again, today, I am a giant ass.
Let me just say for the record that I am ashamed of the things I said about them when I believed them guilty, and that I have learned from this that I shouldn't be so quick to judge, and that things are not always what they appear to be.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
We've been betrayed
A month or so ago there was a high school girl raped about a block from my house across the street from my daughter's elementary school, or so I thought. At first it made me want to move, then I tightened security around my house, especially when it came to my children. I made sure they never went anywhere alone, and that my boys kept close to my daughter when picking her up from school.
At my neighborhood convenience store, there were signs posted everywhere, depicting the suspect with a phone number to call police if you thought you might have seen him.
At work we discussed the terrible event, I went so far as to say that if I were the girl's mother, I would be proud of her that she fought so hard, and that I hoped that sick freak died from an infection he should get where she had bitten his hand.
I'm not sure what the rest of my neighbors are saying since I just found out about this, but I imagine they are as angry as I am.
Anyway here is the article:
Clearfield police said a teenage girl's claims that she was raped in the middle of a church parking lot in broad daylight are false.
At my neighborhood convenience store, there were signs posted everywhere, depicting the suspect with a phone number to call police if you thought you might have seen him.
At work we discussed the terrible event, I went so far as to say that if I were the girl's mother, I would be proud of her that she fought so hard, and that I hoped that sick freak died from an infection he should get where she had bitten his hand.
I'm not sure what the rest of my neighbors are saying since I just found out about this, but I imagine they are as angry as I am.
Anyway here is the article:
Clearfield police say teen lied about rape
In a statement sent to the Deseret News on Friday, Clearfield Assistant Police Chief Greg Krusi said laboratory test results and other evidence analyzed did not match up with the girl's claims about being attacked.
"The juvenile was formally interviewed again by investigators at which time she admitted to fabricating the story due to personal issues occurring in her life," Krusi wrote.
The alleged rape was reported in May when the girl said she had dropped off a friend at a nearby apartment complex. She pulled into the church parking lot at 1985 S. Main to pick up some things that had fallen off a seat in the van she was driving. That's when she said a man entered her car, overpowered her and raped her.
The rape claim had police frantically searching for the man. They even released a police sketch of a man they described as in his mid-30s, with blond hair and a goatee. The girl said the man may have sustained a hand injury in the attack.
"Clearfield police detectives screened this case with the Davis County Attorney's Office, and they will be charging the female juvenile in juvenile court with filing a false police report, a class A misdemeanor," Krusi wrote.
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